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| fucking cant sleep and i have work in a few hours... gotta wake up in 2.5 hrs
lying in bed and thinking about what happened last night jst made me wanna blog.. lol yes jst keep myself awake for a few more minutes..
welll fuckk idunno i thought i was over it but i guess being epiccly drunk brought it out. crying and babbling fucking embrassing but whatevr. at least ive been okay up until now didnt bother me at all wahtsoever. havnt thought about him, missed him, be sad .. nothing ! i am still pretty fucking okay but jeez drunkass michelle cant handle i guess hahah. i cant even remember what happened to make me upset or think/cry bout this shit again.. fuck came outta no where ! guess its pretty much obvious im not 100% over it but 99% or at least close to that :D i guess im okay with thhat cause how can i expect myself to be 100% completely over a first love. someone who fucking broke my heart over and over again after 2 motherfucking long years. im kind of glad that its like this.. well not what happened yesterday lol boy oh boy. but whateves makes me ..idunno how to explain it... ummmhm im glad im not completely over it because i can hold it close to my heart and my mind. a reminder that it is not okay and to never (at least for a while for now) let someone that close. gotta protect myself ! lesson learned to guard my heart and really becareful of who i let in or even near. gotta screeen them motherfuckers see whos worth what.
"There is always one person you love who becomes a definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who sets the template for what you will always love about other people and hate about other people, even if some of these qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love wins. They win, and you lose, because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."
read that somewhere. i find it very true. caused me to love assholes and hate clingyness. although i hate it it love it..
i also realized that i am an emotionall cutter.. LMFAO. fml.
fuck i need sleeeeeeeeeeeep.... work in t minus 2.5 hrs.
ps. i have theee best bestfriend in da world. spankz niggerolls for talking to me and making things somewhat better :) you would leave your beerpong game once you heard i was upset kekekeke
boy oh boy id be so lost if it werent forrr you. save me everytime<3
ruvyewniggaboooo | | |
| all i need in my life of shit is me and my best friend <3
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| ive always, but more often lately, been stuck with the delima of telling someone what they SHOULD hear or what they want to hear. truth is, we all know, the truth hurts, but to what extent should it be thrusted upon someone? when a friend is truly being a dick do you call them out on it? when someone is so hard headed, and you know it might damage a relationship if you spoke up, do you bring it up? when someone is being stupid and acting a fool do you tell them? when a friend is wrong and yet too stubborn to see it, is it worth trying to tell them? the biggest problem here is that im too timid to say anything to anyone most of the time, a little better now, but yeah.
i know its more of you see the situtation and you should only fight certain battles, but how do you know which ones are to take hold of and which ones you sweep under the rug.
summers boring. june, july, august.. can you please show me some excitment.
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| im sitting here, lol ditching first and probalby 2nd jst to finish up my senior project presentation and partly because im a senior and dont feel like going to schoool :)
in exactly 7 days to this minute, we will be done with a 1/3 of our finals or lack there of, and about to take our 2nd last final.. in arcadia, as a highschool student, at arcadia high school, with these peers we've been with for the past 4 years for some, 7 for some, and even 13 years for others. for me, it was HUGOREID, FOOTHILLS, and then the imfamous ARCADIAHS. can you believe it? in 7 days and 4 hrs, we will be done forever with the Arcadia Unified School District system? in 7 days and 4 hrs, we can finally say, " WE DID IT! " then who knows wha twere gonna be doing after 12:30, some crying, some laughing, many taking pictures with people we might never see again. after 12:30 our lives will never be the same, some might be sad, some might be grateful. in 8 days, we will be graduates.
4 years ago, boy have things changed.
came outta foothills thinking well be friends forsure in highschool, oh how we were wrong.
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